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16 April 2007 @ 11:08 pm
Sweet Burning (The Chip on Her Shoulder Remix) [Ouran High School Host Club; Haruhi]  
Title: Sweet Burning (The Chip on Her Shoulder Remix)
Author: mousapelli
Summary: Haruhi battles her arch-nemesis: the chocolate chip cookie.
Rating: G
Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club
Title, Author and URL of original story: Sweet Burning by Dawnsama

Sweet Burning (The Chip on Her Shoulder Remix)

All of Tamaki's overblown melodramatics aside, Haruhi had indeed had to take over most of the household chores when her mother died, not the least of which was cooking.

She wasn't a cooking genius or anything, but over the years Haruhi and cooking had struck up a sort of truce: she followed the directions very carefully, and in return the food turned out palatable, or sometimes even rather good. Hot pot in particular pleased Haruhi, because you were supposed to just throw things into it and let them figure it out for themselves. She liked that sort of self-reliance in food.

What did not please Haruhi, on the other hand, were chocolate chip cookies.

They looked so simple! Like all you had to do was mix the stuff in the box together, add an egg or some oil or milk, drop little globs of it on a slightly greased baking sheet, and in 10-12 minutes, voila, cookies!

It just never worked out for Haruhi. Sometimes their edges were crisped dark brown, other times the dough ran all together into one giant, smooshy, square cookie. And then burned.

After repeated incidents of chocolate chip failure (Haruhi could be just as stubborn as anybody), finally Haruhi had admitted eternal defeat to the chocolate chip cookie, and simply bought the kind that came in tubes or squares when the situation demanded it.

Never one to dwell on the sting of defeat, Haruhi put the whole situation to the back of her mind, until the assignment for the home economics project was passed around. It was a gorgeous early summer day, birds chirping and sunlight shining through the windows of the home ec lab, but Haruhi's heart was cold as she stared down at the paper with her assignment and drummed her fingers on the tabletop.

Her arch-nemesis: the chocolate chip cookie.

"Oi, Haruhi!" was all the warning she got before something heavy landed on her shoulders, but she didn't even flinch as Kaoru's bright hair blocked her view of the paper. She kept glaring anyway. "Lucky, chocolate chip cookies! We got meringues. Want to trade? Kaoru, we're trading!"

Hikaru had neither the chance to agree nor to confirm his false identity before the teacher hollered that nobody was trading. The twins made faces, and Haruhi sighed. Looks like she'd just have to find some help.

"Can't we at least work together?" Kaoru was whining, and when the teacher snapped at him again, murmured in Haruhi's ear, "Don't worry, we'll slip you secret tips!"

"Secret chips!" Hikaru added, clapping his hands, "Right, Hikaru?"

She'd have to find some less maniacal help.


"Mori-senpai," Haruhi pitched her voice low, shooting a glance over her shoulder to where Huni-senpai was settled on a couch surrounded by clients, chattering away merrily. She hoped the squeals of the girls would drown out the words 'chocolate chip cookies' when she uttered them, or else she'd never pry Huni-senpai off her leg long enough to get anything done. "Mori-senpai, you cook for Huni-senpai sometimes, right?"

"Mn." Mori-senpai nodded, raising one eyebrow.

"Can you make…" Haruhi reached into her pocket and pulled out the assignment sheet, unfolding it from its neat square. She snuck another look over her shoulder at Huni-senpai. "These?"

"Ah." Haruhi heard the scratch of a pen behind her and cursed because she had been so concerned with Huni that she'd forgotten to keep tabs on Kyouya-senpai. "Cooking problems, Haruhi?"

"Nothing you need to worry about, senpai," Haruhi said quickly, folding the paper back up. Kyouya gave a noncommittal "Hmm" and scratched a few more things down before sidling off.

Haruhi wasted no time eliciting a hissed promise from Mori-senpai that he would meet her in the home ec lab the next day during lunch.


"Hmm," said Mori-senpai.

"I know," said Haruhi forlornly.

And then the sprinklers went off.


"Twenty thousand yen for the extra service," Kyouya said. Haruhi examined the pink ruffled apron that was dangling off one of his fingers, and when she was just about to balk, he added, "Of course it's up to you whether I'm subtracting it from your total or adding it."

Heaving a long-suffering sigh, Haruhi stripped her school jacket and draped it over Tamaki-senpai's outstretched hand as he pirouetted by (the mere suggestion of Haruhi in the apron probably meant that he was done in for the whole afternoon). Then she rolled up her shirtsleeves and tied on the apron.

"Haruhi-kun will be making us a special treat today," Kyouya-senpai informed the girls loitering nearby, exchanging elbows and interested glances.

"Reeeeeeally, Haru-chan?" Huni-senpai wanted to know, appearing out of nowhere to adhere himself to Haruhi's leg.

"Yes, yes," Kyouya-senpai reached down and peeled Huni off, giving him a push towards the girls. "Why don't you offer our guests some tea, and I'm sure Haruhi will have something interesting for us all very soon…"

"Ha ha," Haruhi grumbled, then blinked as a piece of paper was placed in her hands.

"Here," Mori-senpai said, "try this."

"Mori-senpai?" Haruhi asked, blinking, but Mori-senpai just gave a little shrug, the corner of his mouth quirked, and then went off to help fetch the tea things with Huni-senpai.

No-Bake Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies, the paper read. Haruhi glanced around again, trying to figure out whether or not the joke was on her.

"I had a word with your home economics teacher," Kyouya-senpai commented, pausing in his writing just long enough to eye Haruhi over top of his notebook. "I pointed out that at no point in your assignment did it specify that temperatures over 300° be utilized. She seemed…understanding."

"I bet," Haruhi snorted, but she couldn't quite hide her smile completely.

"Haruhi!" crowed Hikaru, throwing himself across Haruhi's shoulders, making her give a little "Oof!" and nearly drop the paper. "Hikaru and I are here to help!"

"Good." Haruhi planted a hand in the middle of Hikaru's chest to push him back half a step and gave him her sweetest smile. "Then you can find me a saucepan and wash it out."

"Aww," Hikaru groaned, but he gave Haruhi a little punch in the shoulder and bounded off.

"Lord, look at this!" Kaoru crowed behind them. "Commoner instant oats!"

Step One: melt chocolate in saucepan, read the directions, and Haruhi figured that this wouldn't be hard at all, even with the help.
riko: oh fuck boysriko on April 22nd, 2007 08:30 pm (UTC)
Whee! That was fun! You have a very good handle on all the characters (I'm very impressed), but I am absolutely swept away by Haruhi in this. She's got the perfect edge of long-suffering sarcasm while still being a genuinely nice person.

The scene with the sprinklers was awesome. I realize it was only three lines, but that only makes it even more awesome.
Kitayama might be taking a picture of this: flockedmousapelli on April 29th, 2007 05:59 pm (UTC)
thanks so much! I love how Haruhi is the voice of reason, so watching her come a little unhinged is a lot of fun.

Mori is a lot of love as well.

Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it!
Claradawnsama on April 24th, 2007 12:59 am (UTC)
Haha! That was definitely a prologue I never would have imagined! This was great! Very original, and very well written. I, too, love the "And then the sprinklers went off" line. Thank you very much!
Kitayama might be taking a picture of this: flockedmousapelli on April 29th, 2007 06:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked your remix. I enjoyed the original very much, especially the twins and Tamaki flailing about.
(Deleted comment)
Kitayama might be taking a picture of this: flockedmousapelli on April 29th, 2007 06:01 pm (UTC)
Thanks very much! I love writing cast fic, where the other characters just pop in and out for the hilarity. I'm glad you liked it!
parallactic: sinister ducks will get youparallactic on April 29th, 2007 04:59 am (UTC)
This is a fun look at how the host club could even make baking chocolate chip cookies into an over the top production. Your Haruhi is also so spot on.
Kitayama might be taking a picture of this: flockedmousapelli on April 29th, 2007 06:02 pm (UTC)
There's really nothing that the host club can't make into an over the top production. Thanks, i'm glad you liked it!
(Deleted comment)
Kitayama might be taking a picture of this: flockedmousapelli on April 29th, 2007 06:03 pm (UTC)

Mori kills me, always
tigtogtiffy on May 2nd, 2007 03:39 am (UTC)
I love that line. i wish i was so inspire din my fics ::sigh::
Hot sicka than y0' average: DBSK - thoughtfully bespectacledswtjemz on April 30th, 2007 06:46 pm (UTC)

I read this when it came out and I thought it was the cutest thing ever! ♥ Mori-senpai. Total love.
Kitayama might be taking a picture of this: flockedmousapelli on May 2nd, 2007 04:00 am (UTC)
hee, thanks! It seems like the fewer lines I give Mori, the more attention he gets...
Vice Captain of the Universe: fruits basketsweeny_todd on May 2nd, 2007 03:08 am (UTC)
I like this! as others have said, that spinkler line is priceless! I have the smae chocolate chip bikkie issues :(
Kitayama might be taking a picture of this: flockedmousapelli on May 2nd, 2007 04:01 am (UTC)
thank you! i'm glad you liked it!
tigtogtiffy on May 2nd, 2007 03:42 am (UTC)
was this line intentional?

"Haruhi!" crowed Hikaru, throwing himself across Haruhi's shoulders, making her give a little "Oof!" and nearly drop the paper. "Hikaru and I are here to help!"

just wondering. i know they play the which one is hikaru game a lot but.....
Kitayama might be taking a picture of this: flockedmousapelli on May 2nd, 2007 04:02 am (UTC)
yup! Both lines that are like that are on purpose, they're just toying with everybody. But Haruhi can tell them apart, and since this is in her POV, she's calling them by the right names.
treeflamingo: antipiracytreeflamingo on May 2nd, 2007 04:23 am (UTC)
One of the best Haruhis I've read. Omedeto.
As did everyone else, I laughed audibly at the sprinkler scene. And at the bit where Kyouya admits his involvement in the no-bake-cookies scheme. I'm so envious of you humor-writing-types. I just can't do it.
~ Monique ~: OuranTwincest3monique_27 on May 2nd, 2007 04:48 am (UTC)
Ah! So awesome! Cute, in-character, and just hilarious! Well done! :)
The Winged Poet: Cracksciathan_file on May 2nd, 2007 05:16 am (UTC)
I think I woke people up with laughing much too hard at that sprinkler part.

That was wonderful. <3
daevilgeniusdaevilgenius on May 2nd, 2007 11:02 am (UTC)
I feel like eating chocolate chip cookies now...

Been a while since I baked any too...

*goes out to buy some cookies*

Love the fic by the way ^_^
technicolour teddy: pic#55783892techni_teddy on May 2nd, 2007 12:44 pm (UTC)
Cute. <3

You know I have the exact same problem. But it's choc chip cookies AND brownies that hate me. >_<"
AJ Rayne: Smilingaj_rayne on May 2nd, 2007 03:55 pm (UTC)
Very cute...I know where Haruhi is coming from. ;) Nice one.
Miss Erica: [Anime • Ouran] No Escapethimbles on May 5th, 2007 12:51 am (UTC)
What a fun story (and just the sort of thing I needed today). I absolutely adore your take on the characters, it flows really well with the story.

The sprikler part was adorable ♥
Miss Erica: [J-Pop • K8] Angry Facethimbles on May 5th, 2007 12:52 am (UTC)
Bah! Sprinkler, not sprikler ^^;
Petratishkovna: oh my!retsuko on May 8th, 2007 12:24 am (UTC)
That was great--the sequence with the sprinklers was worth the price of admission alone. :-D
a regular decorated emergency.: Ouran - Moridarkenedsakura on May 15th, 2007 01:03 pm (UTC)
The use of exclamation points in a narrative focusing on Haruhi is an interesting choice that worked well here, I think. Man, I really enjoyed this - like everyone else said, the three-line section was hilarious and awesome, and so were Kyouya and Mori. And, you know, yes wow.

Reccing this to other people, for sure.
(Anonymous) on May 29th, 2007 09:55 pm (UTC)
Oh Tamaki twirling is win. And Hikaru's name mix up? Perfect little details.