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21 April 2007 @ 01:03 pm
Fic: Helping Hands (Five Fingers Extended Mix) [Farscape; John Crichton/Multiple; NC-17]  
Title: Helping Hands (Five Fingers Extended Mix)
Author: zvi (zvi_likes_tv)
Summary: Five alien sexual encounters John Crichton never experienced in the Uncharted Territories.
Fandom: Farscape
Pairing: John Crichton/Rygel, John Crichton/D'Argo, John Crichton/Zhaan, John Crichton/Chiana, John Crichton/Gilina
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Rape Stance on Warnings</p>
Original story:
Helping Hands by kernezelda

Premiere (Cross Cultural Confusion Cut)

John is not a sound sleeper, so when Rygel whirrs by his room for the fifth time he stands up and says, "Good God, Greenie, I'll give you whatever you want within reason."

Rygel's chair rotates until they are facing each other. "What does that phrase mean: within reason?"

John pauses for a second. What the hell is reasonable when you're trapped on a space ship with people who'd probably kill you as soon as look at you, and no idea where home is or how to get there? Everything he's brought with him is precious at this point, not something to throw away for a little shut eye. "It means if I can do something for you, I will, but I'm not giving you any of my stuff."

Rygel draws himself up straight as an arrow and says, "You would not have been fit to remove my youngest child's refuse when I sat on the Hynerian throne. A body-servant of your size is completely ridiculous."

John smiles and says, "Yeah, but your choices today are between a ridiculous body-servant and none at all, right? So, if you need something done, I'll do it, and then you could let me get some sleep."

Rygel's nostrils flare and he starts to make a huffing noise, but then he stops and smiles wide. (John is unpleasantly reminded of the Grinch lying to Cindy Lou Who.) "There is an itch I am unable to reach, just between my earbrows. It has been bothering me for some time."

John nods and waves Rygel inside. The chair stops just short of John's bed. John's first touch is tentative; he doesn't want to get more slime on his fingers than is absolutely necessarily. But it turns out that Rygel isn't slimy at all, his head feels smooth like a lizard's. "Neat," John whispers, mostly to himself. "Am I getting the right place?"

"Yes, yes," says Rygel. "Very good. Excellent. If you could just be," a shiver and a sigh, "a little firmer. Oh yes, that's it, that's it exactly. Just a little harder," and he leans forward, not quite balancing out of his chair.

John is getting a bad feeling about this, but he's tired and he wants to go to bed and that damn chair hums as it hovers. "Is that good enough? Itch all scratched?"

Rygel's eyes are closed and he's gripping the arms of his chair. "Just a moment, just…." Rygel's breathless and whispery and if he weren't a frog he might sound sexy.

John is now going to bleach his brain, as soon as he finds the local equivalent for bleach. Possibly also his hand. He figures the only way to get this over with is to press harder and faster, so John knuckles down like he's polishing a car.

"Yes!" Rygel hisses.

John jerks his hand back and is glad to see that nothing appears to be leaking from Rygel's head or his lap. "I think you're done, Sparky."

Rygel smiles again, a genuine smile this time (The Grinch is forever ruined because this time it's like when the heart triples in size), and says, "Yes, yes. I think I am."

Thank God It's Friday Again (Blood Brothers Bouncin' Beat)

John takes a calculated risk and goes to food cube storage. Too bad DK isn't here to check his math, he thinks, as he turns around to see D'Argo in the doorway.

"Crichton," D'Argo says. "You are dead." He points his Qualta blade and stalks forward.

John tries to run past him. D'Argo is slow, after all, and running has worked for four days.

But for the past four days, John has run away from D'Argo, not toward him, and the big guy may be heavy on his feet, but he's fast enough with his right arm to clothesline John and knock him half unconscious. John blinks once, twice, and sees the blade coming for his head. He tries to put his arms across his face, but there's something wrong with his left shoulder, and it hurts too much. "Please," he says. "Please, I'll do anything."

D'Argo sits on him, hard and heavy like a blow to the gut, and John throws up a little in his mouth. "Take me as your blood brother."

John swallows and says, "Yeah, that's good. Blood brother, that's good."

D'Argo rises and sheathes the Qualta blade, which is good, but then he pulls a bone knife; John starts pushing up with his right arm, and back with his feet.

D'Argo just picks John up and shakes him. "Take off your pants."


"You said you will take me as blood brother. Take off your pants." D'Argo places the knife against John's throat.

John struggles to take off his pants and boxers one handed, but he manages.

He squeals when D'Argo makes three slashes between his navel and his pubic bone. He wants to say, "What the hell are you doing?" but he knows, and further, he's pretty sure he can live through it. Qualta blade through the eye is a different story.

John reconsiders this when D'Argo pulls aside his coat and pants and shoves a bunch of freaking tendrils in the holes he's made. D'Argo thrusts hard and John feels out of control, battered like windchimes in a hurricane, so he clutches to his rapist until it's over.

Rhapsody in Blue (Petal to the Flesh Mix)

John is in a bad way a week after they leave the Delvian temple. There's a pain right in front of each ear which no amount of warmth or cold or meditation will touch. He can escape the pain in sleep, so he's got his eyes closed and he's breathing slow. He glances up through his lashes when the door to his cell hisses open. He's not surprised that a blue column is gliding towards him, and he closes his eyes again.

"You haven't eaten all day." She puts a hand to his forehead.

Something in his head unclenches, enough that he tries to smile. "I threw up when I tried to eat yesterday. I don't feel any better today, so…." He doesn't shrug, but that's what he means.

"John, I wish you had said something. I can help." She puts her hands on the exact spots where his head hurts, and he realizes that it's where the heels of her hands rested while they shared Unity. "I apologize. I knew this was a possibility, and I didn't protect you from it."

His head has cleared up enough that he can look at her. "This is from sharing Unity? But that felt…good?"

She nods and stands. "And now you are dying of loneliness." She removes her robes and lies on the bed next to him.

"What are you doing? I never thought I'd say this to a naked, beautiful woman, but I have to turn down the ride you're offering."

Zhaan smiles serenely and sticks a hand up his shirt, presses her fingers to his flesh.

Again, the pain subsides, and he sits up straight, looks at her. "What the hell is going on, Zhaan?"

"There are social animals for whom Unity is a danger. They spend much of their lives looking for connection, and they find it in Unity, and when it is withdrawn, they die of loneliness." She puts a hand to his face. "Physical reconnection stops the loneliness, helps break the addiction to Unity."

He swallows and unbuttons his shirt.

Durka Returns (Black & White Release)

John goes to his cell and is not surprised to find a naked Nebari in his bed. He leans against the door, carefully keeping his feet on the outside of the room. "You don't have to do this, you know?"

"You told me. You told me I just had to keep my mouth shut about who you are. That I can't kill your friends. I know." She cocks her head at him, the pause and twitch making him wonder if she's descended from a songbird-type or something rabbity, descended from prey.

"So, why are you here? You can say 'thank you' with words, and I'll get your gratitude just fine, I promise." He stands up a little straighter. He is tired, he wants to go to bed. If she doesn't need reassuring, she needs to get the hell out of his room.

"This isn't—. I'm not grateful. I'm not scared. I want to frell. And you're probably not going to kill me." The blanket drifts down lower, and her breasts (or whatever they are) are on display, round and pale and lovely. She inhales once, and laughs softly in her soft, halting way.

And John is tired of being touched only for violence or impatience or to save a life. So he pulls down his pants and says, "This gets hard and about nine denches long. You have some place slick and warm I can put it in?"

The blanket comes the rest of the way down; she spreads her legs and shows a horizontal slit. There's a little puddle on the bed, pretty much the same off white color as spunk.

John smiles.

The Hidden Memory (Love Conquers All Mix)

John knows he lied to Gilina. He does want to be with Aeryn Sun, but it's like wanting to be with Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Kathleen Turner or the vice principal of his high school. The radiant Aeryn Sun is way the hell out of his league, a woman he can't charm or impress, even if she warmly tolerates him on occasion.

But this woman, this small blonde creature in his bed, is nearly as lost he is, and he thinks they can teach one another how to get by in the Uncharted Territories. They can certainly make one another feel better about being stuck here, far from home.

"You were amazing," he tells her.

She shrugs, looks down. "Not really. Officer Sun got the ident chip. Officer Sun did all the shooting."

He's not going to let her get away with that. "Officer Sun could get to Crais because you laid a trap for him in my brain." She looks up and he kisses her, just a peck on the lips, but he has something else to say. "It's your plan and your tech that got me out of that damn chair." He kisses her with tongue this time, a quick pass to say hello and I'm glad you're here, and she puts her arms around him now. "You brought me back to you, Gilina."

"You frighten me. I've lost everything I've ever known." She makes a choked noise, a cross between a laugh and a whimper. "Everything except Aeryn Sun." She closes her eyes and breathes in deep. "But I want to believe I'll be all right. And I half do, because you're right in front of me."

He smiles, because there's really nothing to say to that.

"I've never felt like this before." She laughs, a real laugh this time. "It's always been a quick frell between repair jobs before."

So John puts his hands on her ass and really kisses her and teaches Gilina how to make love.
Current Location: Uncharted Territories
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: wailing alien women
Kernezelda: M3C sexkernezelda on April 22nd, 2007 07:58 pm (UTC)
Oh, Rygel is such a little perv! That made me laugh out loud, especially the Grinch comparisons. I'd never have thought of that in a million years.

D'Argo's section horrifies me, yet is a plausible interpretation of what might have happened. The title alludes to Aoibbhean's "Dark Brothers" story, yes? I have to wonder how he could come to terms with this, and how D'Argo would respond later to John's reaction, if this isn't a crime for Luxans.

Petal to the Flesh is lovely, and the concept is neat. After the ultimate intimacy of a mind-to-mind joining, dropping back into the solitude of your own could be difficult. I like the way this emphasizes Zhaan's compassion, and John's need for connections, and the way it reflects RIB, when it was John's compassion that gave Zhaan the connection she needed.

*judiciously* In the third section, you are very kind to John. ;)
John's a gambler, and that is lost sometimes in fic, so I like it here when he takes Chiana up on her offer without dithering. That's she's not doing this out of gratitude or fear is also a good touch. Chi likes sex, and her attraction to Crichton has been evident from the start. Another relationship that would be interesting to watch grow.

I very much like the last section. "Love Conquers All" is pretty much how I want to view the world. What's most interesting to me is Gilian's realization that she has Aeryn, that last bit of home. Aeryn was alone and lonely, cast out. Gilina has chosen to leave, and at this point, Aeryn has made that choice, too. So Gilina won't have to be alone at all. I wonder how this would play out during the rest of the series, through the chip arc and later.

There's a certain sense of practicality to each of these sections; not a lot of overthinking on the characters' parts, but quick responses and decisions that I find refreshing. Each section having its own clever remix title is also delightful.

Thank you! I love my remix fic.

zvi LikesTVzvi_likes_tv on April 29th, 2007 05:09 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you like it. I was a little worried that doing a five things story wouldn't go over very well, both because I'd never written one, and what if I got it wrong, and also because I was worried you would be disappointed I hadn't worked more with what you wrote.

But there was something about that idea of aliens taking advantage of John sexually that I found really compelling.

That made me laugh out loud, especially the Grinch comparisons. That wide, green, triangular smile they both have, that's what made me think of it. I was trying to figure out how John would interpret Rygel's expressions before he knew him well, and well, he looks like the Grinch when he smiles in his most acquisitive fashion.

The title alludes to Aoibbhean's "Dark Brothers" story, yes? Well, Aiobhean came up with Blood Brothers, and I started writing something like this section, but more melodramatic, and told her about it, and she whipped out Dark Brothers overnight, and my story came to a crashing halt until I was doing this remix. So, yes. And, no.

Chi likes sex, and her attraction to Crichton has been evident from the start. The show usually approached the Chi/John relationship as fraternal, but always with a sexy undercurrent, and I've always thought that if Chiana had pushed John, he would have slept with her. So I made her push before John had settled on a brotherly approach, and this happened.

There's a certain sense of practicality to each of these sections; not a lot of overthinking on the characters' parts, but quick responses and decisions that I find refreshing.

Heh. I hadn't really thought about this in those terms. I tend to be someone who writes like an indie filmmaker edits a movie. "He sighed. Then he rubbed the bridge of his nose. Then he looked away. Then he said, 'blah blah blah.'" All portentuous and multiply-interpretable and long. I guess I have found that the best five things stories have a deep brevity, where they say, "The world is different like this" and get out. I think I may try to take that essentialism to other stories.

Each section having its own clever remix title is also delightful.

Thanks. One of the things that is both fun and difficult about Farscape is that the universe changes radically from episode to episode, so situating your story in a particular here and now strikes me as really essential to the fanfiction. And once I realized that I needed to identify the episodes I was in, I knew I couldn't just leave the episode titles there are all alone by themselves. So, funky remix subtitles, voila!

Thank you! I love my remix fic. You're welcome. It was a lot of fun to write, and a great chance to try out a new technique, and I'm really glad it worked.
Kernezelda: DRD bluekernezelda on April 30th, 2007 03:37 am (UTC)
Ah, I didn't know that about you and Aoibhean, but it's good to know. I was always interested in how that episode might have played out differently, because it was ripe for all kinds of territorial behavior and worse. Especially from what we learn in S4 about D'Argo; and that concerned a person he loved deeply. John might have fared far, far worse than hugging.

New techniques are worth exploring. One of my fics last year was an experiment in text formatting to show different things, and I think that worked well. It was an odd, but interesting little challenge for myself.
(Anonymous) on April 23rd, 2007 05:49 am (UTC)
What a terrific set of fics! I love Crichton's reactions to all the situations -- just spot on!
zvi LikesTVzvi_likes_tv on April 29th, 2007 05:10 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I always love to hear when I've hit on a characterization that works.
aka DevilWoman, the Thrower of (plot)Bunniesjebbypal on April 24th, 2007 12:06 pm (UTC)
Very nice stories and very true to John. Great job.
zvi LikesTV: Farscapezvi_likes_tv on April 29th, 2007 05:10 pm (UTC)
Thanks. It's really important to me to hear that my characterization works, so I'm glad you told me.
(Deleted comment)
zvi LikesTVzvi_likes_tv on July 4th, 2007 05:18 pm (UTC)
Oh! I thought I replied to this at the time. Sorry for taking so long, but I really did appreciate your comment.
cupidsbowcupidsbow on July 10th, 2007 04:36 pm (UTC)
These are great! I really like how you re-worked the original idea. Unfortunately, I haven't seen enough canon to get the final one; but all the rest are like a sock to the jaw!
zvi LikesTVzvi_likes_tv on July 10th, 2007 07:05 pm (UTC)
Thank you. Gilina is the girl in the episode PK Tech Girl. At the end of 1st season, she helps John escape from Crais and Scorpius, who have captured him and are torturing him to learn about wormholes. As she's helping him to escape, she asks John if he wants Aeryn more than her, and he says no. Towards the end of the sequence, she gets shot and dies in extremely tragic fashion. Gilina is as close as FS comes to Crichton possibly having been able to cobble together some sort of normal life, after being flung to the UT.
cupidsbowcupidsbow on July 10th, 2007 07:41 pm (UTC)
I really must watch more of Farscape canon. I enjoyed it so much, and your summary sounds cool. The station it played on here did everything in its power to kill the show. :(
leviticus_lied: amplificathonleviticus_lied on April 13th, 2008 04:26 pm (UTC)
I'm from amplificathon.

I really loved this. It's just - all of them connect for different reasons, but so naturally and obviously that you forget how John was in True Love with the last person.


Can I read this? Pleasepleaseplease.
zvi LikesTV: Farscapezvi_likes_tv on April 19th, 2008 02:24 pm (UTC)
ABSOLUTELY YOU CAN READ THIS! I will be so happy to have someone read it, you just don't know. I'm sorry I didn't say anything earlier. I didn't get the notification. I thought I had tracking on this post, but it didn't come through.

In any case, yes, yes, yes, please read this story, it's one of my favorites and I think it would be fun to read with all of the different voices and emotions.